I completely support your right to go mask-less because you’re an American.

You believe who you will and kill who you want.

Photo by David Todd McCarty on Unsplash

Dear Sir With No Mask,


I would like to salute you, stranger with no mask in a public setting.

Thank GOD someone is standing up to these unAmerican jerks pushing their communist bologna about mask-wearing. You’re an American! And as such, you are entitled to walk outside wearing whatever you like. By the way, your Don Jr. tank top is delicious. Grrrr… Triggered forever.

America the beautiful. You can say that again.

I don’t know your reasons for sure, but I can tell just by looking at you that you know what’s what. Perhaps it’s your sign that reads, “Assholes Wear Masks,” or your t-shirt that says, “You Can’t Kill Christmas!” or your beer koozie that states, “Where are Hunter’s emails, libtards?”

They can’t infringe on your liberties and tell you to ‘protect others.’ Who are these ‘others?’ That word means nothing to you. It reminds me of the words ‘accountable’ or ‘thoughtful,’ which hold no significance and make no sense.

With liberty and justice for ‘all’ not ‘others.’

You know what I heard?

Covid is a hoax created by the wealthy elites to gain power. It’s so obvious, right? I mean obvious to anyone with red, white, and blue running through their veins. You must stand tall in your right to let your lips and chin be seen. No one is going to get sick from your mouth juice. When has that ever happened?


Oh, mask-less stranger, don’t give in to the pressure! Continue to carry your homemade Mask Exempt card proudly.

Let someone else get brain damage from rebreathing their own contaminated Covid air. You’ve done your own investigation. Aunt Sally on Facebook is all you need. Aunt Sally- the woman who knows the Earth is flat; otherwise, she’d fall off.

And I don’t know about you, but I’m SO TIRED of this, “but you’re putting older people at risk!” nonsense. No one in my family has died of the Covid. Well, except for Grandma Joan and Uncle Craig, but they were like in their 70’s or something, and most likely died of heart disease and diabetes, like REAL Americans.

The Democrats, with their protecting lives, hooey. Where is this COVID-19? Show your face! If you are real, by God, show yourself! See? Nothing.

Ohhhh… I’m so scared of the invisible virus.

Oh, say, can YOU see?

I can tell you are an informed man that cares about human life. That’s super clear. That’s why you stand for the pro-life movement as well. Good for you! There is nothing more sacred than human life. Unless that human life believes in climate change, and then, in which case, you will grab your gun and shoot them in the face yourself.

Land where my fathers died. Amiright?

So, in conclusion, your ability to stand firm in your self-reinforcing gang of collectively unhinged flag-wavers needs to be celebrated!

Land of the free!

You are a patriot. A patriot who cares. A patriot who reads tweets. A patriot who will not stand next to 5G towers just in case this all turns out to be true.

God bless you, sir.

Thank God we can all see your face at Target. There is no quicker or easier way to show the world that you are #1 and your level of care, warmth, and humanity is equal to a rock or a garden hose.

Don’t Tread On Me,


Humor writer, Boot lover. Slackjaw, Little Old Lady, PointsinCase, Humor Darling, Robotbutt, GreenerPastures https://www.irenetassy.me/ @Irene_Tassy

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