Super easy instructions for your child’s return.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Ivan Aleksic on Unsplash

Colored Tiers


HUMOR

An Open Letter to the People of Wisconsin

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Usman Yousaf on Unsplash


Like ELF on the SHELF, but with less work and more horror

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Alessio Zaccaria on Unsplash

Mattel Global Communication

Rick Dickerson

Rick.Dickerson@mattel.com

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: 12/16/2020

This holiday KRAMPUS hopes to cut deeply into ELF on the SHELF profits by creating a creature that not only watches what your child is up to but moves by itself to terrorize and punish those that get out of line.

“We also knew that the good-natured ELF only went so far with kids. We wanted a creature that made them literally wet their pants with anxiety. KRAMPUS in your CLOSET was born.”


Scientology Arrives at Hallmark

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Volodymyr Tokar on Unsplash

Title: A Very Clear Christmas

Tagline: Even Scientologists Need Bland, Asexual Holiday Cheer

Logline: Kimberly, a small-town teen, travels to California at Christmas time to find Tom Cruise. She is convinced only he can cure her mother’s fatal illness by December 25th.

Setting: Los Angeles

Synopsis:

With only a copy of Dianetics, Top Gun on VHS, and babysitting money totaling $32.56, she makes her way to the bus station.


You believe who you will and kill who you want.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by David Todd McCarty on Unsplash


What fun.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Nathana Rebouças on Unsplash


Ode to my vague Post-it

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Jazmin Quaynor on Unsplash

I glance at my desk and see a Post-it.

Friday @ 4:00!

A place to be Friday @ 4:00!

Which Friday?

The time is confusing.


HUMOR

Product Launch Delayed.

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Hamid Tajik on Unsplash

MEMORANDUM

DATE: MARCH 19th

TO: All Staff

FROM: Rick Christopher, Director, Marketing Department

SUBJECT: Launch of Cellulite-Be-Gone Leg and Butt Ointment on March 28th


Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash


HUMOR

One baby’s address

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Brandon Day on Unsplash

About

irene tassy

Humor writer. Slackjaw, Little Old Lady, PointsinCase, Humor Darling, Robotbutt, GreenerPastures https://www.irenetassy.me/ @Irene_Tassy

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store